Even if you’re typically a monogamous person, when you’re still in the beginning stages of finding a new relationship, there’s no harm in exploring what’s out there before settling down with someone. Here are 12 reasons to consider dating multiple people, simultaneously — it might seem like a whirlwind, but if it helps you find the right person for you faster, then it will be more than worth the craziness.
1. It’s Empowering
Dating can make you feel helpless sometimes like you’re at the mercy of whomever you happen to be emotionally invested in at the time. But if you’re taking control of your dating life and have the foresight to say, “Hey, I think I’ll dip my toes in several ponds, just because I can,” it will make you feel a lot less afraid of rejection in the long run. That doesn’t mean that emotions can’t get involved with more than one person; it just might cushion the blow if things don’t work out with one person. You’re in control of your own love life, and you should never feel like you’re waiting around for someone to break your heart.
2. Comparison Helps
This is where dating multiple people really helps. If you have more than one person on the docket, it can be easier to recognize what qualities in each person you really admire (or which ones you loathe). When you’re in the moment, you can be blinded by lust, and it can be difficult to really take a step back and assess if someone is right for you. If you spend a Friday night with someone and it’s only mediocre, then have an amazing brunch date with someone else on Sunday, it will make it easier to cut your losses with the person who is only so-so.
3. You Have A Plan B (And C, And D…)
There’s nothing more disappointing than spending weeks getting to know someone, only to have a bombshell dropped on you. Maybe you find out the two of you don’t see eye to eye on politics or religion, or maybe he’s starting to get flaky and you’ve simply had enough. When things end, it can feel daunting to start from scratch all over again: Right swipe, chat, text, first date, second date…the process is exhausting. If you’re casually dating a few people, or even just talking to someone else, it can help ease you back into the dating scene after a “breakup” with someone else.
4. You Aren’t Emotionally Dependent On One Person
It’s always a good thing to maintain your independence because you’re less likely to get down in the dumps when someone turns out to be less-than-stellar. Although you should be happy and confident when you’re truly single, casually dating a few people can be a way to stave off boredom and loneliness while not getting so emotionally tangled up. If you call the shots, it won’t be so devastating if something terrible happens, like getting ghosted.
5. It Makes You More Open-Minded
If you’re not super into the idea of settling down with one person at this exact moment in your life, it might open your mind to casually dating someone you otherwise might pass over. Maybe you typically prefer someone more clean-cut but are intrigued by a cute, hipstery, bearded guy you met on OkCupid. There’s no reason you shouldn’t try hanging out with both of them; you might be surprised by the kinds of people you vibe with when you broaden your horizons. Dating multiple people at once gives you a golden opportunity to meet more interesting people in a shorter time span.
6. It Curbs Boredom
This may sound like a dumb reason to date around, but if you’re someone who craves social interaction more than you even crave pizza, it might be helpful to have several people around to hang out with on nights when your friends are otherwise occupied. Even if you just call someone up and invite them over to ~Netflix and chill~ it can still be better than watching Friday Night Lights alone if you happen to be a social butterfly.
7. More Sex
Though you’re by no means obligated to sleep with all the people you’re currently dating, you’re certainly allowed to, and what could be more fun than the idea of seemingly endless sex? If one person is into rough, kinky sex and another likes it slow and gentle, it could be a great opportunity for you to experience all the kinds of sex your body craves. More orgasms are always better, IMHO.
You only get one go around on this earth, or at least that is the most common belief. If you only date one person at a time you limit a number of people that you get to know and have a good time with.
Stop trying so hard to find “the one” right away and play the field while you can. As long as you are honest, there is nothing wrong with living it up while you can.
9. If you stick to one person, you might get stuck
Sometimes when you date only one person, there is a natural order to things. What I mean is that there are steps that you are expected to take.
One day you wake up, and you are to the point where you are serious and supposed to make the next move like move in or marriage. You haven’t even had the time to really think about what you are doing. Choosing someone for life shouldn’t be about making the next step because it is expected or what you are supposed to do.
10. You are too young to get serious
If you are too young to be serious about getting serious, then only going out with one person might teach you about how to be monogamous. But, is now really the time for that?
Being young is about trial and error and finding out what you want and who you are. If you date the same person throughout your entire childhood, how do you know that there isn’t someone better suited out there that just might pass you by? Being young is about experimenting. Experiment the hell out of relationships while you have the chance.
11. You just got out of a super bad relationship, don’t settle for a rebound
If you just got out of a bad relationship or a serious one that you thought was the one, don’t start looking for something serious to hop into. The rebound person is never the right one, and not dating multiple people after a bad breakup can have you making poor decisions that potentially alter the rest of your life. Emotional heartbreak makes us do some pretty stupid things. Give yourself some time to heal before you get too serious again.
12. You don’t want to lead someone on
It is good to date multiple people so that the person you are with doesn’t think they are something more special than they are to you. All too often we keep someone around as a cushion until we find someone better and jump ship.
That isn’t fair to anyone. If you aren’t sure that the person you are currently with is the right one for you, dating multiple people lets them know they are free to do the same and tells them where your head is at. If they can’t take it, then they aren’t the one for you.
A serious relationship is something that there is always time for when you find the right one and the time is right. If that isn’t right now, then don’t try to convince yourself it is and enjoy dating multiple people.