These Dildo Substitutes Used By Women Are Jaw Dropping. -

These Dildo Substitutes Used By Women Are Jaw Dropping.


You know your sex life sucks when you’re going through a dry spell for quite some time now. But since the body has it’s own needs, women come out with some very unusual ideas to please themselves. While a dildo is an ideal sex toy for women, it is still not available in all parts of the world. Sigh! But there are dildo substitutes everywhere!

In catastrophic situations like these, women put their creative sides on the front. Here are a few household items that hold a key to better sex, and are some of the dildo substitutes.

Few of them are so extreme that can almost make your eyes pop!

#1 Banana

Bananas have always been a favorite dildo substitute. They are perfectly shaped, not too hard, appropriate size and tasty! Is that the reason minions love bananas?

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#2 Cucumber

The primary use of kitchen: food. Secondary use of kitchen: prospective dildo substitutes. Why waste money on sex toys when the world is filled with d!ck$! Get the pun?

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Cucumbers are not as soft as bananas and are a favorite amongst those who like to go hard on themselves. Literally!

#3 Electric Toothbrush

This is ultimate pleasure. Now you’re not the only one who is doing all the hard work, The vibrating toothbrush is making efforts too. And it takes self-pleasing to the next level. The fact that it vibrates gives all the single girls a sense of relief. Phew!

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#4 Make Up

Our make up has so many prospectives dildos. Lipsticks, mascara bottles, make up brushes not only make us look good on the outside, they make us feel great on the inside too! One of the many reasons why we shouldn’t share our makeup!

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#5 Popsicle

Popsicles are basically a substitute for a d!ck with a flavored condom on it. Probably the only dildo substitute with which we can go oral (because obviously, they are tasty) as well as anal.

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#6 Bottles

Shampoo, deodorant, beer bottles should also be put to use once the stuff inside them is utilized. Because we pay for these goddamn bottles too, and not just the stuff inside them. Is it fair to not give these poor bottles their credit? No, right?

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#7 Stationery

Pens and pencils may not give us great pleasure, but they their best to make us happy. We can be supportive. Just make sure the pens don’t leak, because your [email protected] won’t be happy if you feed her ink!

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#8 TV Remote

Sounds gross because the tv remote is something that everybody in the family frequently uses, but tv remotes are also used as dildos. Guess you should stop fighting with your sister over the remote now, because remotes not just switch channels, they switch moods too!

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#9 Candles

Wax is no harm. Candles are considered great while dining and whining as well.

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#10 Sports Equipments

The handle of a tennis racket is one of the many dildo substitutes. Baseball bat too, if it fits and if you flexible enough to stretch!

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#11 Cell Phones

Yes, they are used as dildos and one of the many reasons why is because they vibrate! This doesn’t sound like a bright idea because it isn’t. Regular use of cellphones as dildos may be harmful in the long run, because they cause radiation and nobody would love the idea of putting cancer up their [email protected]!

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#12 Toys

Make a trip to a toy store and you’ll find so many things even adults can play with. Barbie dolls are one of them! Even the toys of our pets can be used as dildos. A toy bone works well for a dildo.

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Since dildos not being easily available yet, these substitute dildos work great wonders! Try not hurting yourself and please for the love of God, keep your dildos clean and practice hygiene. You can thank us later.

Also, read 21 Sex Lies Every Guy Has Told You At Least Once

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