We get tongue-tied or make really stupid mistakes because our brain messes up its most basic job which embarrasses the shit out of us. Here are sixteen such hilarious and stupid mistakes made by real people which will make you laugh.
1. Have You Tried Rebooti- Goddammit!
I work in IT. One time, my wife complained that our toaster oven wasn’t getting hot and I instinctively asked her if she tried rebooting it.
2. I’m Not Getting Any Orgasm While I Eat Your Fruits!
Working in a grocery store and having customers complain about the price of organic fruit and telling them “it’s more because it’s orgasmic”
3. Stupid Yet Hilarious Mistakes Which Can Make The Customer’s Day.
One time I had two jobs that required me answering the phone. One day I picked up the phone and said “Good Morning, thank you for calling….where am I?” (Lucky for me customer started to laugh and thanked me saying he needed a good laugh)
4. I’m Interested Now.
I used to work for a healthcare company that is frequently located in strip malls. Will never forget the time that I told a prospective employee that our offices are usually located in strip clubs.
5. Thank You For Calling Us.
27 years ago, I worked in a tiny telemarketing firm. We were calling central Oregon, looking for people who would do a survey over the phone. I also worked at Toys R Us, in Bellevue, WA. So, I call this number in Oregon, the phone just rings as I chit chat with my roommate. Suddenly, a woman answers. My mind blanks and after a couple seconds I blurt out “Thank you for calling Bellevue Toys R Us, we are open from 9:30 to” and then I just hung up. I imagine some woman staring at her phone, wondering what the heck that was all about.
6. I’m Sure You Are. That’s One Of The Best Stupid Mistakes Anyone Has Ever Done.
I have a great conversation with a new client and at the end of the conversation realizing I hadn’t even said my name, meant to say “I’m Amber, thanks for the awesome conversation” but it just came out as “I’m awesome” as I’m shaking his hand.Coworkers started introducing me as that to new and old clients.
7. Being A Mom Is A Full Time Job Too.
A friend of mine was stay-at-home mom with toddlers. At a dinnerparty one night, while talking to the stranger next to her, she found herself cutting the meat on his plate. He looked rather surprised, but ate it…
8. Stupid Yet Hilarious Mistakes Workers Made In Retail.
I worked in retail for a long time, and one day we were super busy and I was a little frazzled. The phone rang and I was half way between saying, “can you hold” and “can I place you on hold,” and instead just said “can I hold you?”
9. A W K W A R D.
When I offered to help my supervisor with removing a mop head,several years back. It was stuck and she was making some weird movements when trying to remove it. “Can I fist you?” I said. What I MEANT was “Can I help? It’s really bad but you look like you’re fisting someone.” Possibly the worst thing that’s popped out of my mouth…
10. Stupid Mistakes You Make When You’re Stressed Out. It’s A Good Thing That They End Up Being So Hilarious!
I worked in a fancy restaurant for years. We always set up salad bar for dinner. Well one night I was a little behind.Everything was all set except nothing had tongs in it. So essentially it wasn’t ready for customers. Well the hostess was unaware of this and from what she saw it looked ready so she let this group of ppl through to start their salads. I came running through the line with tongs and had forgotten what they were called. Tongs or utensils…neither sounded right at the time. Anyway so I was hurridly placing them around the salad bar exclaiming ” Wait, they need their tonsils! Tonsils!”
11. You’re Onto Something Here.
One time I was trying to say “I got ya” and “I’m on it” but instead told my boss “I’m on you”. I was so mortified!
12. When Your Mind To Mouth Coordination Is Simply Not Working. So Hilarious!
My old waitressing job I had to greet every table and offer a cherry coke or a chocolate shake and a little boy had a book about squirrels on their table so instead I said “can I get you started with a cherry coke or a chocolate squirrel?”
13. Is It A Boy Or a Girl?
I work at a zoo. When friends tell me they’re pregnant I usually ask if they are having a “male or a female?”.
14. Goodluck With That.
I used to work at a casino where part of the service culture was to tell guests “Good luck” after interactions. It was so deeply ingrained in my brain that I once said it to a man after I directed him to the restrooms. He just gave me an odd look and responded, “Umm, thanks?”
15. Uh Oh! You Just Got Spooked!
I was working in the X-Ray departments one Halloween and answered the phone “Good afternoon, Melody spooking, how may I help you”. We both had a good laugh at that one.
16. You Sneaky Bastard!
I worked at a large video rental place back in the day where the associates would get bored quite frequently during the day shift. To cull this boredom we would make up porn names for popular movies. Eg: Dracula: Dead and Sucking It, Jurassic Pork, It’s a Wiener-Filled Life, etc. So this elderly (over 70) woman comes in and after her transaction I handed her her video and promptly said: “Your copy of Black Cock Down is due back tomorrow at 11.”. Yeah, I just let her think she was hearing things.